omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
