I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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