i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
