do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
