I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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