you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
