So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize