Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
People in love make me want to vomit
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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