Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
