He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
