i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize