Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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