i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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