Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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