There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
