Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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