Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize