Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
