i just had sex bonerless
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
