A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's always time for handjobs
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
