Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
