remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
