apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
