BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Randomize
