dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
3 2 1 whiskey
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
