I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
