doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They are going to name an STD after you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
