Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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