Jerry, you need to find god
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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