on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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