Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
