i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
