Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
