he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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