Just mADE A PArabola og urine
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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