I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
