Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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