I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
