At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
