My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
