Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize