i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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