the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
