I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
