chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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