I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need a beard to bite.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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