We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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