if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
