We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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