I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
