I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
