We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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