Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate all girls vehemently.
just tell him i said nine months
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
