His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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