You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
