Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
