so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
