Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
