call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
