i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
