i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
