Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We don't watch enough power rangers
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
