I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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