I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
