let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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